#IM SO SAD!!! THEY HAD SOMETHING!!! THEY COULDVE FIXED IT!!
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chocolatespyro · 11 months ago
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Uh I still think Cabby is cool. Im just tired i think
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ironmanstan · 2 years ago
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So much work to do but im actually doing it which scares me more than the fact i have work to do and u can tell bc i keep fucking posting like this
#laid out all my sketches i needed.. updated my carrd projects list... finalized art piece.. sketched concept.. studied from art book#fucking insane. insane. so scary so scary.#like idk it is so weird i think being depressed mustve made my adhd so much worse ?? i couldve never done this before#everything is still hard and i have to genuinely push and will myself to even attempt working on anything but like#i have enough will to win and start ? i dont lose my focus as much when im in it and if i do i know to take a break bc im understimulated?#i still forget basic things and to do things a lot but i dont catastrophize about it as much i get upset and then just fix it..#its so weird did i just fucking learn to self regulate??? is that what i was missing this whole time ???????#u get punished for like lacking focus and self regulation and have a defeatist mindset bc doing anything = punishment#but then you break through that fear and just throw yourself in and make yourself do things and u can work WITH the adhd????#my parents fucking scammed me bro imagine if i had been raised and like helped instead of called worthless for everytime i fuck up#WHY DO I HAVE TO LEARN THIS AT ALMOST 19. STUPID STUPID STUPID#even my old therapists.. oh you have adhd maybe if you just change your diet you will function WOWWW SOOO HELPFUL#HOW DOES THAT HELP ME LEARN TO BE AWARE OF MY SELF AND NEEDS AND REGULATE THEM TO WORK WITH MY MENTAL HANDICAPS HUH. QUICKLY#stupid... i hate every adult in the world you are all useless and do nothing <- is an adult#its so crazy 2 me to function even a little... i guess i learned easily finally bc i self analyze way too much sometimes#but like i genuinely for years predicted id just like. go right back to being majorly suicidal or something in college#bc i could barely handle highschool or getting assignments done#now im meeting deadlines on the reg... like idk. i think it is such a rare and strange and kind of sick feeling#to know like young you would look at you and be surprised or shocked . and its so sad bc like idk.#its like oh i never believed in myself huh. or believed i could have a place in the world and function and be alright#and then u have to grieve all the time you spent never trying bc u didnt think trying without failing was possible like what the hell!!!#crazy...#the gamer speaks uwu
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feelo-fick · 2 months ago
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Headcanon: Chilchuck and his Bad Takes on Literature
i think chilchuck would be like my mom in the sense that he wouldnt like sad stories. dont get me wrong, cautionary tales? absolutely fine. they serve a purpose to him which is to tell people "dont be an idiot and do this or else something bad will happen"
generally sad or angsty stories though? no point to him, and in his perspective its really confusing how people just read things that make them sad. like whats the use of reading something if its just gonna make you sad. whats the lesson? its not even real so it doesnt help anyone.
whats the point in making yourself cry when you could just avoid that entirely by not reading it at all?
but the one of the biggest reasons why sad stories exist is to let you release all the built up grief in you. to send you something to let out all your emotions in a healthy way. catharsis. empathy.
even when i dont relate to the tragic experiences in some stories, several ones ive read have lead me to realize that im in a bad situation or that im following in the footsteps of the character suffering. its like a wake up call.
and making yourself cry isnt inherently a bad thing. if crying allows you to let go of building pressure and tension in you then thats good!
but chil wouldnt see that. of course he wouldnt, hes avoidant of most situations that would allow him to release emotion, and fearful of letting his mature (read: repressed) persona slip.
hes someone that runs away to quick comforts and distractions at the earliest sign of issue. hes already been in too many horrifying situations, dealing with another is a pain. and he knows denying everything and refusing to look at the situation doesnt help, but it definitely provides a quick and easy happiness in the comfort of ignorance.
because of this, reading something made to make one empathize with and confront these bad emotions is defeating the point of his cowering. if he faces his issues, even if only through the perspective of a story, he'd have to deal with acknowledging that things are bad and need fixing, and he'd feel terrible and guilty in the moment - which of course is the worst thing that could happen to a person (his thought, not mine).
which is why i find the concept of him being/becoming a tragedy himself at the same time as this headcanon soooo interesting. imagine the irony of him bashing on the protagonists of tragic stories for acting on emotion and impulse rather than logic, when he himself has fallen victim to irrational thinking while in grief.
cause... thats what people do when they grieve. they lash out, make bad decisions, ruin themselves, ruin others.
for a tragedy to be prevented, the protagonists would have to change fundamental parts of themselves, and act perfectly rational when under extreme stress. and chilchuck holds himself to these kinds of unrealistic standards because he unwittingly believes he can handle it all.
he cant, obviously. we see it for ourselves in his relationship with his wife. they were doomed from the beginning by chils already-established avoidance and lack of emotional vulnerabiltiy (and whatever else his wife had going on).
this is all just to say that if you told him about orpheus and eurydice, he'd probably be one of those idiots trying to point out the "plot hole" that he couldve "just not looked back" and "just trusted her"
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i dont understand. whats the point in reading tragedies? the protagonist is stupid, anyways. why would you take bitter medicine? why subject yourself to that?
i think its just a bad story.
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mugentakeda · 11 months ago
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i just loveeeee the idea that there was a big gap of understanding between lu ten and iroh the same way theres a big gap of understanding between zuko and iroh. mistakes that iroh didnt realize he made with his son he then also made with his nephew and still not realizing it. a whole world of things about lu ten that iroh didnt know about, and will never know about. im gonna talk about it though because i am insane so look away from my cringe
lu ten had gone to his father with problems before, and iroh cant help but wonder, now, if his son had ever been trying to imply deeper things in between sugarcoated words because there were things you just didnt say in the palace, and irohs head had been so far up his ass he hadnt seen it. despite it being waved practically right in his face by his son, desperate for sound advice from his father, whos brain was too waterlogged by thoughts of how he was going to pull off his next bloody conquest. like how zuko was always howling for help, hurt and confused like a cornered animal, hidden deep under his fits of rage, and irohs head was Still so far up his ass that he kept meeting zukos silent begging for straightforward guidance with convoluted proverbs. he can sit here and bury his face in his hands in shame over the sheer amount of times hed failed his nephew without realizing, and how much convincing it'll take to get his nephew to understand that yes, iroh did fail him so many times, and he couldve prevented so much suffering simply by holding himself to the same standards he held his nephew to. all those times during those three years before the avatar returned that he couldve done something. sit here and think about how sad it is that he has to even try hard to convince his nephew such a thing, how sad it is that he finally got zuko to stop seeing ozai as some all-wise god that can do no error as a father, just for zuko to start seeing iroh as some all-wise god that has done no error as an uncle. but he can at least go and do something about it. he can never do something about what he did to his son. the things he knows he did, the things he doesnt know he did, and everything in between. he will never find out what lu ten truly thought about him. he will never have that reconciliation, that silent scream of relief and violent shiver in the crook of his neck that zuko gave when iroh yanked him in close after their separation, with his lu ten. he just has to hear about his own son through word of mouth and somehow be content with that. and worst of all, its all his own and his god damned family's fault. no amount of healing and learning by trying to do right by zuko and the world he helped nearly ruin not much more than a half decade ago can act as a balm for the agony that brings him. he knows healing his guilty conscience isnt supposed to even be a reason for why he helped the avatar, but god- it's when the rationality leaves him and he realizes that this is something he cant seem to make himself be the bigger person in. he knows its his own fault, that there are hundreds- thousands, maybe- of earth kingdom sons he personally stole from earth kingdom fathers, and only gave up on his siege when the consequences of his war came into his own backyard, but he cant help it. doesnt want to help it. hes still angry and hateful anyway. his son should still be here. his son should still be here. his son should still be here. and if he tells zuko about how much he still hates himself as both an uncle and a father, zuko will definitely rush to reassure him, all the while he is chained to his desk and meetings day in and day out, fixing this uncles mistakes best he can, losing sleep and forgetting to eat. none of it will mean anything to zuko, if it means he can make his uncle feel better. and if that happens, iroh might actually vomit in front of his nephew.
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b1mbodoll · 1 year ago
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this is so insane.. first of all, i have an inbox that is completely full. im not purposely ignoring anyone it’s just hard to reply to every ask i receive. i’m not “gatekeeping” anything just bc i havent had time to reply. i literally posted at the beginning of the month that i’d be busy this month, and you’re a disgusting person for saying all of this.
if you were so curious and no one was responding, you can google it. that’s what i did, i didn’t go out of my way to make someone feel like shit because i felt entitled and rude.
pretending not to know my name when it’s pinned is so funny, like you’re seriously acting like this just bc you’re mad people are too busy to respond… again i’m sorry i didnt reply, it wasnt purposeful, but you’re so disrespectful and a terrible person for sending this.
next time you wanna act like a hardass come off fucking anon and say it with your chest. or are you too scared i’ll block you?
if you dont like me then block me or message me off anon so i can do it, weirdo. also thanks for bodyshaming! LOL ur a fucking weirdo ive never been more serious. fuck you, seriously.
i really dont give a fuck what you think about me and my anons 😭 hate to break it to you but you’re worse than me and my nonies!!!! theyre silly flirts but you’re just a weird, entitled coward. i can’t believe petnames and flirting make you this upset, it’s sad.
also “non valuable anons” … yeah ur odd! all of my nice anons mean so much to me. doesn’t matter how much they interact with me or whether or not they use an emoji -_- dont ever call my nonies “nonvaluable” just bc ur pressed over a color gradient.
it’s crazy that YOU of all people, are telling me to seek help. you came into my inbox bitching and being soso awful over something you couldve googled. i think ur the one that needs help, to be honest. bet it’ll be hard finding someone to help you fix that disgusting personality of yours.
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blackvail22 · 9 months ago
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i love him... i really think i do. and its healthy!! god, its so healthy. he truly respects me and cares for me. he frequently compliments me or flirts with me. he's so understanding of who i am and some of the trauma responses i have (and am working on). im not afraid to be myself around him. i dont feel scared to at all... usually, ill show myself to people, but im walking on eggshells while i do it at the same time. im more chaotic than i can seem here.... im like a chaotic-chill, i guess.
ive never felt more whole.
and he trusts me. HE TRUSTS MEEEE. and whenever i tell him things from the past, he doesnt try to fix it or give me advice unless i ask for it, which is smth else i also love. sometimes when im talking about something, i just want to me heard and validated, you know? and he does that. he has a pretty good home life, and school is good for the most part (now)... so whenever i open up to him abt smth or make a joke out of trauma i have, he'll usually say "you seem like you need a hug" or "your life is so sad, im so sorry". i guess the second statement can seem like an insult, but its true.
im starting to come to terms with the fact that yes, almost every single memory i have of the past [age] years of my life is sad. i didnt grow up in a good home, school was shit. compared to him and MANY other people, i had a shit childhood. yes, it couldve been worse, BUT ITS NOT A COMPETITION. it was bad for me!! it negatively affected me... therefore, it was bad.
things are getting better, and i hope that i start getting better at talking. i know ive said that before, but i rlly do hope i get better at it.
also i will not see him for a week because our boss scheduled us completely opposite shifts and didnt give us the same day off and im going to cry!!!!!!!!!!!
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arillusionist · 1 year ago
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reaction to the last 3 eps of s&b - im doing it all at once bc i wanna get it over with considering im gonna be rlly sad watching these knowing we'll never get a real ending.
also YES i was heartbroken over the cancellation even tho i hadnt finished the show. im emotionally attached to the books okay!! leave me alone
oh this is the hallucination scene i've heard too much about
the fucking BUTTERFLIES
bye not wylan's overly dramatic ass
"a village boy cut in half by a plow blade" isnt that literally what happened to kaz's dad
"hope is an illusion. a lie" hes such a kaz ripoff
oh i didnt think tolya had a hallucination i've never heard anyone talk about it
whos blood is that im gonna guess tamar
why am i so smart like
if they rush jesper's developement with one hallucination im gonna be mad
what happened i cant tell. he better not have rejected her again or whatever ugh theyre so cute tho
WOW i love how they always go from established relationships to some angsty kanej scene.
love how he doesnt stare at her lovingly or shit hes just fucking glaring she knows her man fr
oh never mind the soft voice is crazy
uh ya i didnt want to make assumptions until now but making inej's hallucation about kaz was Not it.
like in a way ik its about how she wants consent but its mainly so she can leave kaz at the end of the show kaz kaz kaz its always about kaz
this is why we needed the spinoff they couldve FIXED it
"erm they shouldnt have done it wrong in the first place" how righteous of you unfortunately im too emotionally attached to the characters so i wish they had another chance
ok bad choice aside her realizing its not real bc she knows kaz could never be like that or even try is kinda heartbreaking!! 🙂
oh hell no did she eat the fucking butterfly i thought it was the petal at first 🤡
"if you have no one left to fight for" and then cutting to inej aaaa
no the way his eyes softened and the way inej stroked his face w her thumb ... and then he realized
okay thank god cuz for a second i thought the crows were gonna js be dead the entire episode
hes the firebird what the fuck?? (sorry chat i havent finished r&r yet)
why does that kinda downplay malina like knowing that they're meant for each other cuz of destiny or some shit
then again they never had to fall in love just find each other they did the romance part on their own
where tf is kaz
oh what the fuck. this scene is so messed up (Talking abt the one where the darkling is holding baghra)
my laptop's screen time is almost up so i must pause unfortunately. i could watch on my phone but thats boring so
uhm so its been 3 days have i been stalling?? maybe 🙂 can you blame me??
is that old guy her husband?? uh
seeing kaz smile for more than a fleeting one second is so unnatural
oh my god oh my god is her whole speech about love not being a weakness gonna make kaz realize something
wow okay they did rush jesper's development with one hallucination
toyla is the #1 wesper shipper fr ‼️‼️💪🏽
"someday someone is going to sweep you of your feet so hard" haha nikolai
"me and my "slab or fur" will be far away, off the map, deep in love" uh babe i hate to tell you this..
not kaz shaking his head at wesper as if hes not the reason theyre together 💀
see here they go butchering inej's character again!!
like. in the books she realizes she needs to let go of kaz because she finds her purpose - hunting slavers. in this she just realizes it because of some fuckass hallucination which was about him Why Is It Always About Him
cant tell if im slightly relieved that they cancelled the spinoff because they might have ruined her more or more mad that they cancelled it because they couldve fixed it
i am eating the malina angst up 🗣️🗣️(not bc i dont like them i do like them thats why i need them to be sad. all my favorite ships need angst)
ooh he knows he knows abt mal
next episode except i have to sleep so im probably gonna watch like 2 minutes of it. but i'll try to finish this and the last one tmrw because the more i delay it the sadder i get about the cancellation though my brain wants me to believe otherwise
she (the tidemaker girl idk her name) looks so ready to punch him like yeah girl me too
help the grin on that one girls face when he says kill the king
ok 2 minutes r over so bye
and im back its only the next day also the deleted footage oh my god im on the floor?? plus the fact that it got "what business" trending on twitter with 33k tweets is so fucking funny to me
anyways.
bye i jumped when the darkling showed up in mal's room why do the smallest fucking things always scare me
oh ya theyre cousins. alina has a type huh
mal would kinda get along with inej i can feel it!!
wait whos the arm for also david is lwk smooth wow
they keep mentioning the crows but WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY its been almost 20 minutes 😐
why that is the only tamar and nadia moment all season like not that i was expecting more from netflix but Still
oh thats the last line from the book (i havent finished r&r yet but i skipped to the end as i do with every book so. lol 💀)
omg matthias i kinda thought he wouldnt show up again
oh god i feel like this show has such a lighting problem sometimes
its bad enough that i have no idea whats going on in general
INEJ
INEJ I MISSED YOU
she gotta stop bowing down to alina she is as much of a saint
did they kill off david and genya wtf
i have to pause for a bit bc my laptop needs to charge also i still have no idea whats going on
back
no theyre (david and genya) alive yay 🙏🏽🙏🏽
what the fuck is he doing
oh OHH now theyre killing him off. how could they do that to genya
the other crows are here FINALLY
when ur entire onscreen developemnt is literally 5 minutes 😍😍👍🏽👍🏽
no i will not stop being salty about jesper. fuck you
"well if you dont die we dont get paid" shdjfk
zoya inej nina the friendship i needed
wow what a beautiful and touching moment. it feels anticlimatic but okay 🙂‼️😐👍🏽‼️💪🏽🤡🗣️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️😭🙏🏽💪🏽🗣️
oh nvm. i keep forgetting this isnt the last episode
is that a giant CROW
lol of course it isnt
okay now its the last episode :')
"yes my man! oh we havent actually put a label on it" bye that is so jesper of him
oh. wow. she actually did it.
at least inej and zoya are being badass MY GIRLS ‼️‼️
"let me be your monster" stop being such a kaz ripoff please
FINALLY. his villain speech was taking too long
did she use merzost :(
tolya's random ass burst of poetry 💀💀
HE SEES HER
he literally cannot take his eyes off of her
I CANT. I CANT. THEY WANTED TO HUG SO BADLY YOU COULD SEE THE RELIEF IN THEIR EYES KAZ ALMOST SMILED
but she would never know what it was like for him to see nina pull her close watch jesper loop his arm through hers, what it was to stand in doorways and against walls AND KNOW HE COULD NEVER DRAW NEARER
im sick. theyre so sick for this and knowing we'll never get a chance to see them even hold hands. i cant 🙂
they way she moved towards him then moved back killing myself thnx
"five of cro-" bro predicted the ending of ck
not the malina angst too is this show trying to kill me?? i think it is
"i'll claw my way to one. if he'll let me" IM TELLING YOU!! TRYING TO KILL ME
HE LOOKED AT INEJ
SHES HIS HAPPILY EVER AFTER IM SO DONE IM GOING TO THROW MY LAPTOP ON THE FLOOR 😭😭😭😭😭😭
did they kill off david or not omg
i love how the crows just started walking away they were so eager to get out (except nina's lingering glance at zoya)
oh. oh hes going to be to be sturmhond
see hes so much like inej they both leave to the seas to find themselves outside of the person they love because they want a life for theselves and freedom
i reached the text limit imma make a new post
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batz · 5 years ago
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y hugo look mildly displeased. Anyways in seriousness ur ocs are precious U_U
aw thank u sm!!! once im commission free m gonna be drawing them more >:]
and dw hugos ok hes just haunted bc he accidentally nuked an entire town. happens 2 everyone at som point whatever..! x_x
#nuking megaton couldve been a much more. different quest. i wish it had different outcomes bc fr hugo he was essentially baited into fixing#tech that he wasn't exactly told was like. a nuclear detonator.#and whoopsie doopsie he accidentally aided a rich capitalist in destroying an entire city.#he blames himself. and tbh rightfully so. he Knew something was up but was blinded by how much he was gona get paid#he tries to Fix Things but judt. doing as many good deeds as he can but its all empty u kno?#good deeds aren't selfless or even necessarily 'good' if you only do them to feel less bad#about the shit u did in the past#like hes did good things and he is technically a good person#but he also aided in mass murder.#when he has this revalation of like. 'jfc im only doing good things not for the sake of Doing Good but to for like#this selfish need to feel validated and have my past sins erased. A Clean Slate'#he kinda cuts connection w everyone he knows and just wanders the wastes. kinda just. super pathetic self pity moments.#like hes not a bad person but he Is a bad person...hard 2 explain.............#hes basically a rlly selfish person who does good things to excuse his past bs without actually confronting some of th stuff hes done#even if some of those bad choices werent necessarily his fault#idk its 3am#hes also a techie. doesnt sleep and has resting sad face#out of the 3 he plays the straight man in the comedic sense of the term. deadpan and kind of not fun 2 be around#HE GETS BETTER THO FJDKDDJDK#i just like bullying him#bc i am bully toward ocs...#frank.txt#ask 2 tag
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stingchronicity · 6 years ago
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ever since my ex told me i was ‘slowly killing’ him, i’m so scared to vent/express anything to people like no joke
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kyoryu · 2 years ago
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We have heard your gospel on the shitty finale. Now, dear prophet, I humbly ask for your fix-it ideas
OK SO
you said FIX IT... so how would i fix it. oh in so many ways. but to make what we had WORK, its simple. ive said it before and i will say it again. 3 simple things:
- having no way back to amphibia is treated by the characters as something unfair and theyre all very broken up about it, especially anne. she's inconsolable. shes not accepting just cuz omg i changed i will just take every bad thing life keeps throwing at me here throw some more
- we get to see anne reunite with her parents when shes back (sasha and marcy with theirs too would be nice but thats another can of worms to open)
- after the trio hug in the timeskip, have an actual open end where we see a light flash when they walk off screen. like they went... Somewhere 😳 thatd be cool, like have they opened it before? is this the first time? is it even a portal? dont know, actual open end ✌️
(people keep saying what we got was an open end and the more i think about it the more i call bs. it wasnt open ended they just didnt go back to amphibia and ur in denial. cry about it ig)
anyways id be so happy with an ending like that. im not even changing much its just adding 3 things.
(also id probably skip on the trio growing apart and shit. like i keep saying, i dont think them growing apart in the situation where amphibia is closed for good works out. its just weird. like yeah we close this chapter that totally didnt mark us for life and we move on 🤟 BUT AGAIN JUST LIKE SASHARCYS PARENTS, THATS ANOTHER CONVO)
AS FOR AN ACTUAL FIX IT... to make exactly what we got work we'd have to rewrite the whole thing. not make it about saving the world, not making it so much about family, changing everything. cuz that ending just shits on everything lmao if the ending we got actually worked then amphibia would have to be a completely different story
ANYWAY a fix it would be what i said. tbh i like it when u add those 3 things. its genuinely bittersweet like that. it makes me angry about how its only 3 simple little things that couldve been added and i wouldve been content. but whatever
HOWEVER, A DELUSIONAL ENDING THAT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY WOULD BE: annes given 3 full stones, bc i dont see why tf not if she meets god. i mean if its gonna be nonsensical then lets be nonsensical all the way and have 3 stones. each of them get one, and they can use it to travel back and forth by themselves. each time they have to charge it.
this means they dont usually Go together. they go separately, and if theyre ever in amphibia at the same time they might not even know. sasha always warps at toad tower, anne in wartwood, marcy in newtopia. they go to amphibia for their own purposes and business. and thus the trio grows apart.
it makes more fucking sense, ofc i think the trio growing apart makes sense, it just Doesnt when you add it up with closing off amphibia forever lol. but with amphibia being accessible i totally see it. theyre all doing their own stuff and making their own friends (both human and amphibians). even like this, after what they went through, sasha anne and marcy are intertwined for life. no matter how much time passes, how different they become, theyre unique to each other. they always come back to each other at one point. other than that, amphibia is open, they get to grow up in a place they love with people they love without having to sacrifice choosing one or the other bc that Sucks Ass and they've been thru enough, and have enough mental scars that will keep haunting them even after if they get to thrive in both worlds
this version is kinda. unrealistic. i get it. but the realistic ending we got was bullshit and shitted on everything, its sad and not to mention Boring. i think this ver still gets the point across (point that was already made so many times in the show anyway), sprig and anne grow up together, anne still becomes a herpetologist but now instead of fucking tragic and sad its very fun and cute, sasha has a getaway from her chaotic homelife and can be with grime who never ever EVER left her side, marcy gets to become close to olivia like shes failed to do and hence gain an actual mother figure in her life, etc etc. hehe
(and as adults sasha and marcy choose to move to amphibia. or as teenagers they just straight up stay there. but thats another convo as well)
i actually do enjoy a version where they only go back after 10 years and they have to reconnect, its fun to explore, but it never stops being Sad. i think of it and make hcs about it and comics about it but it never stops being full on sad ending to me and when i remember its not just a fun concept im exploring, its the genuine ending we got that is supposed to be Good and Satisfying, i become enraged. i continue not to see the sweet in the bitter. i wish people would at least admit its full on a very sad ending instead of pretending it was something else (people who liked it say it makes them want to d1e or say "idk i just like sad endings" so u agree. u agree it is a sad ending where characters end up sad)
anyways. kind of a stupid ramble here. i love amphibia (kicks the ending on the throat)
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trinimalfoyyy · 3 years ago
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can u do draco x y/n dating for years but draco started to cheated on her and when y/n found out draco doesnt even regret it and said he loves ‘her’ and they broke up so after years y/n moveon they met again but she already married and have her own little family like they always wanted for their future when they were still dating and draco cant help but feeling regret all over him wishing it couldve been him if only he didnt cheat lmao im in the mood for some angst that broke my heart badly 😏😌😩🥰❤️
My Past-D.M. REQUEST
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A/N: okay so my other post called my past was deleted by accident! And I just saw that this was basically the SAME thing so imma kill two birds with stone :) (no birbs we’re actually harmed)
Warnings: mentions of sex, minor language, and sadness
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I knew that Y/N was smart, she knew that I was cheating on her before I even made the decision to. She knew I was unhappy and unfulfilled in our relationship. So when she walked in on me grunting, she didn’t cry nor did she yell. She just stood there for a moment smiled and left.
I never expected her to react like that—a part of me broke when the girl underneath me held me tighter with her legs. I couldn’t leave if I wanted. So I watched her walked away. I felt the lump in my throat grow tight as I watched her.
Even after that moment she looked unfazed. Her eyes never caught mine anymore and when they did they were dead. I knew that deep down she still had feelings, but the ones that were on top were killed by me.
Did I even regret having sex with another girl while in a relationship with her? Not really, and I hated myself for thinking that. Y/N never wanted to have sex, she wanted to save herself but god damn I’m a guy and I had needs. She didn’t meet them and therefore I had to cheat.
I began to tell others that it was her fault, that I cheated. How she never helped me with my needs. She was just cold to me. But deep down I knew I was trying to fix my ego. So I started to flourish myself with more girls, by end of the year. I had fucked more than half the girls at our school. None of them filled the gap that was in heart but they did fix my needs.
Even after I graduated, I was still labeled the fuckboy of school. Most single women knew where to find me when they wanted something. I hated how my life turned out and yet it was my own selfish actions that lead to this. I knew drinking was a bad way to fix this but I started to drink—heavily.
I wanted to forget how lonely I was, no matter how many legs I was between. I was still lonely. I started to miss Y/N and all the things we did together. I started to miss the way she smiled and snorted when she found something funny. Or the way she bit her lip when she was focused on something.
Her little habits of dog-earing pages in books that annoyed me. She always said that it gave a book life, a book that still looked new wasn’t a book that was loved. She wrote little notes besides the quotes in books that she enjoyed. Some of which she could recite backwards. It was the small things that made me miss her.
The stale perfume that most women wore burned my nose, but Y/N’s was different. Hers felt like a home with a warm cooked meal. The kind you would have someone lay on you so you could smell their hair. Her perfume that used to cling into my sheets and clothes. The one that made me calmer from just smelling it.
It wasn’t expensive but it was the one I could distinguish in a crowded room when I was near her. She left her hair ties in my jackets and even my room. She hated to sleep with her hair down and just threw it up in a bun before sleeping. In the morning it was messy from her tossing on my bed. I still had the hair ties in my jacket, I never took them out.
They reminded me of the good memories. The ones filled with happiness but then I would remember how fucking stupid I was. Her hair ties looked dead, like they had no purpose so I wore them on my wrists. When I stayed with a random person they would ask if they borrow it and I always declined. I didn’t want to tarnish it. I wanted to keep it alive.
Somehow it gave me hope that maybe I could fix what was now gone. You had disappeared after we all graduated. None of your friends had heard from you in years—sometimes I thought they were lying and just said that to keep me away.
I walked up and down Diagon Alley so many times, walking in the stores we used to visit. The real reason I was there was even more simple. I found the small perfume shop that you used to stop by and grab the perfume you loved so much.
When I walked in, the smell flooded my nose instantly and I felt the tears start to form in eyes. I walked around trying to find the bottle that I knew so very well. I spotted the bottle on the shelf and went to grab it.
Jumping a little when another small hand reaches out for it. I looked into the eyes of the girl next to me as she started to apologize. “Sir—if you don’t mind but could I please have that? It’s the last bottle.” I wanted to be selfishly again and snatch it away. But I nodded before reluctantly giving the bottle to the girl. She smiled and thanked me before running off.
I stared at the shelf to see there really was no more bottles, sighing I head towards the door when a voice caught me off guard. “A man let you have the last bottle? How very nice of him.” I froze and my hand on the door handle started to shake. I knew that voice from anywhere.
A voice from the heavens as I turned to see Y/N. She was paying for the perfume and the girl who stood next to her gleamed up at her. I thought it must be her sister but when they started to walk towards me, I could see that it was not the case. I moved out of the way so they could exit but the girl spotted me before they left.
“Mommy! That’s the nice man who let me have the bottle.” Her eyelashes looked towards me and I felt my breath leave my body. Y/N’s eyes widen when she saw me, her body frozen in sight as well. “Draco?”
I hummed in pleasure of hearing my name from her voice. She looked at me as she continued talking. “What are you doing here?” I wanted to grab her and kiss her right there. But I knew I couldn’t. I would freak her out and I didn’t want to ruin anything.
“I came for that bottle, but it seems I was a tad bit too slow.” The little girl smiled as I smiled back to her. The harshness of Y/N’s voice caught me off guard. “No what are you actually doing here Draco?”
I frowned at how bitter she was being so I confessed to her. I felt more pathetic as I told her what I had been hiding all these years. “I miss you Y/N a lot…like a fucking lot. I came into here to get the bottle because it reminds me of you. It’s the last bit of comfort that I have.”
She looked surprised to hear me cry out to her but she stayed quiet. She opened the bag and handed me the bottle with a sad look on her face. “I’m your past Draco, nothing more.”
I watched as she walked out of the store, the little girl looking back at me with a confused look. She was right. She was my past.
Nothing more.
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Tag list:
@yesimsleepdeprived
@willowbleedsonpaper
@jinnbie
@his-princess0
@burnin-passion
@superanimenatural
@slytherinhoeperiodt
@kinkyslytherinstuff
@malfoysbiitch
@dracosbaibe
@realityblocked
@saayanaaa
@agalandhermarvelobsession
@malfoyyuhh
@justfangirlthingies
@drachoesimp
@louweasleymalfoy
@riddleswh0r3crux
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sothischickshe · 3 years ago
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gg finale tag
i was tagged by @mego42, @icanthearyoufromhereplease, @inyoursheets, @septiembrre, @missmaxime, @onlyformissmarks & @kenrune to talk abt what i would/n’t want to happen in the finale, and dw i have in fact noticed the eps already aired lol but expecting me to do things in a timely fashion is extremely foolish & maybe you can help my slow processing, uh, process!
things i wouldntve even put on the wishlist bc ive had my feelings hurt too many times:
beth & rio ending in a good but reasonably open-ended place [can u.....believe........................this happened...................?!!! i thought they were going to like gnaw at each other’s necks till they both bled out or something rather]
beth-dean divorce [extremely surprised this seemed to be happening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! very very very very very very very into it]
annie/nancy endgame [sad this didnt happen but also wasnt expecting it to so]
surprise rhea, amber AND marry pat [what we deserved but never wouldve happened so fine]
the reveal that this show is set in a world where time moves differently & various characters have magical powers [shouldve happened but no one explicitly disproved it so all good]
the reveal that nevada literally does not exist [dream sequence did seem to hint it sooooooo..........]
beth like vaguely apologising to rio for shooting him but like super begrudgingly + extremely drunk [wouldve been hilarious]
annie punching dean in the face [extremely necessary]
anything which explains where nick’s been prior to this season & why it seems like he and rio have had max. 4 conversations in their life b4 said season [long suffering sigh]
a LONG dean + rio scene [longer sufferinger sigh]
ben + sara scene [longest sufferingest sigh]
final scene pans out to reveal this is all hipster hatted barman writing his memoir [lacking this genuinely a crime]
a lengthy dream sequence [!!!!! can you believe!!!!!!!!!!! i love dream sequences so much!!!!! i loved the concrete insight into beth’s psyche]
some kind of payoff to/explanation of this brother/cousin thing [sadly lacking..............althooooooooooough the way nick didnt roll on grandma....certainly leaves scope to hc she is in fact the boss so why not a fagin sitch.......actually would explain rio’s original sudden onset robbery interest better too...........]
rio discovering television [!!!!!!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE!!!???!?!!]
someone explaining that all of law enforcement is gay in this universe [!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE??????!?!?!?!]
rio seeming like he has at least a second braincell [highly debatable but there are some vague hints????]
wishlist:
dean coming out [really would explain so much]
mick revealed to be the boss / rio his idiot protégé [REALLY would explain so much.....this didnt happen but i feel like the idea was at least circled????]
annie/ruby endgame [stan n beth were both fucking me off this season re ruby, this’d be delightful!]
beth-stan teamup [idk maybe they were gearing up to this for a next season or w/e but all this beth stan conflict felt pretty random & swiftly accelerated, n i think i couldve handwaved a lot of it if it led to them having to work together bc of something]
happy hills [well i was lured into a false sense of security by the s3 finale!!!!]
open ended enough ending(s) to inspire lots of fix-it fic, but not so cliffhangery that im stressed [i feel like i did mostly get this! like i can assume that beth throws kevin & vance off a bridge, ruby & annie go on the run together, mick is either dead or convinces beth she knocked him up etc etc]
turner’s revealed to have been alive this whole time [disappointed but not suprised this didnt happen]
all my ludicrous headcanons survive unscathed [just about????!]
very drunk rio [amazing, accurate etc]
anything which makes it seem like rio’s been (v drunkenly) scheming against nick all season [yea? pretty much? i’d need to rewatch s4 but i think there’s a reasonabllllly clear thread of him considering it & working up to it which sort of vaguely makes sense if you consider he’s very drunk the whole time]
nick revealed to be connected to the mra cult somehow [this wouldve been so good, but i guess the cult had no actual powers so wouldntve explained nick’s significant ones but still]
beth & rio: horrible bffs [can you believe?????!?????????!!!!!!!!! the show really said....no one else should have to hang out with them......]
dean is fed the ottoman [can’t believe this didnt happen]
jokes at the expense of cyclists (#yesallcyclists) [were there any in the last 2 eps? not enough anyway]
the fingerprints/gun just not coming back into play at all, fuckit [booooooo]
confirmation of offscreen beth/rio boning but not specifying exactly when in canon so we forever get to try to work out when makes the most sense [technically this didnt happen........but also it kinda diiiiiiiiiiiiiid currently pretty sold on end of penultimate ep]
the girls being successful at crime [a moment of this! how lovely! couldve done with far more but hey ho]
ANNIE COMING CRIME CLEAN TO BEN [implied actually i think????!]
someone referring to it as whiskey instead of bourbon [CAN YOU BELIEVE?????!!!!!!]
bitchlist:
annie/kevin endgame [ew. i mean it’s not, bc beth is going to throw him off a bridge, but ew all the fucking same]
the return of boomer, noah and/or doc whosit [can’t believe we escaped qf]
the return of those weird con artists who scammed a car [thank fucking fuck]
stressful cliffhanger(s) with no obvi resolution [feel like this was kind of escaped?!]
stan-dean bff-ship [what. no. stan doesnt deserve this. what. WHAT]
s2 finale vibes / violence, gore etc [hmm, just abt avoided? i didnt enjoy watching beth get shot multiple times but also it wasnt super gory which good i guess but that also cheapened the whole thing so....idk i think this wouldve worked better if we’d seen beth receive the annie’s been arrested gutpunch?]
beth getting shot espec as a cliffhanger [well! i didnt hate it like i thought i would but this whole thing felt v rushed]
anything which makes rio seem like a sadist [i wouldve found this to be supremely retconny and im v glad it didnt happen!]
the ot3 split up [i thought i wouldve hated this bc that relationship/friendship was the core of the show, BUT i dont think crime (unless theyre super sequestered from the consequences somehow) is in my hea for annie, ruby or stan, and it def IS for beth n rio so....... yea im actually v into the horrible ot3 of beth rio n beth’s gigantic handbag being forced to hang out while noone else ever has to see them ever again!!!!!]
rape jokes [im tired]
ruby & annie’s friendship getting super short shrift [im sad. this whole beth n stan conflict just seemed to obliterate any thought or mention of annie n ruby’s friendship?!]
things i wouldntve even thought to put on the bitchlist:
mick betraying annie & rio at the same time (?!) [that is......kinda what happened....? i think....? like am i supposed to think rio didnt noticed mick was on nick’s payroll or he did and he’s now the benevolent patron saint of all used ppl or....................you what? also like is mick just a super mercenary pragmatist bc way more into it if so haha]
beth + rio kinda getting a happy ending while annie, ruby & stan don’t (???!??!) [legitimately hilarious but also im gonna say an ODD choice]
nick having a gay assistant who does some intense method acting via dating apps pretending to be straight so he can.............send selfies to his father.................? (???!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!) [i mean, i AM kinda obsessed ngl but like.................did this make any kind of sense to anyone????? it was like audience misdirect on steroids!!!]
insane quantities of chili’s product placement (??!?!) [was there always so much product placement in this show?????]
no real resolution to this beth-ruby-stan conflict (!!!!???!?!) [this got too repetitive and too drawn out and too preposterous, maybe it was building to something for a next season but i think it needed actual payoff. and the payoff shouldve been annie/ruby endgame or beth-stan scategories champions or both] 
the continuation of the beth-stan conflict not involving any further beth-stan scenes (??!?!?!?!??!) [can handwave just abt anything if it involves christina + reno scenes! don’t care! could watch them act together for days! communicating via coleslaw and increasingly nonsensical plans.....not so much of a fan]
beth getting shot in the shoulder and going down like a bag of bricks (??????!?!?!) [clunky audience misdirects like this make me v sour, they couldve easily inserted a tripping over something reveal bit into the dream sequence, or had a line abt shock later or smthn just to not make it so silly]
too much ambiguity to the timings/knowledge of the endings.......? [im kiiiinda in two minds abt this bc i do like the open-endedness as it allows you to insert what you want to a degree but ultimately im actually CONFUSED. DOES beth know that annie’s been arrested? does ruby? do gregggg n nancy?????? is ruby leaving with stan or not? does stan have even a single opinion on annie, would the fact that she’s in trouble change his mind about anything? has dean intentionally or not been poisoning stan via the hot tub? does beth know that stan n potentially ruby are leaving?? is mick alive? DOES BETH KNOW THAT RIO DIDNT SEND HIM TO SHOOT HER? (my money’s actually on no still fgfgffhf) is kevin sticking around to like raise ben????????? how much/does ben know abt annie’s crime stuff???? why/ is vance alive? why didnt ruby realise that getting dean hopped up on sugar n convincing him to beat vance to death is a great plan????  also: the biggest problem with it being confusing is im concerned im going to have to see more screenshots of bill krebs’ waffling which is unfortunate bc to start with he’s clearly not real] 
that song which played us out [i dont entirely know what a blind melon is but i did NOT like that song. im not saying it deffo shouldve been de la soul instead but like.....there are a lot of songs about numbers and threes and stuff that dont make me feel like someone’s climbed into my ear canal with a pick axe yknow]
ummmmm im not sure if tagging anyone really makes sense at this juncture but if you wanna yell further pls consider yourself tagged/back!!!!
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herbietales · 3 years ago
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trying to put my thoughts on the new special into one place!
starting off with the stan marsh tragedy montage is so tragic holy shit
and the fact that he keeps reliving in in his nightmares is so sad
having to handle his alexa too and like wanting to pander to her requests like the shopping cart and such - theres like a commentary there or something but maybe im reading too much into it its also just funny to see kyle so bewildered at that lmaooo
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and stan turning around to sneer at kyle when he tries to cut in?? lmaoo
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this scene between yentl and cartman hurts more knowing cartman’s end - him saying to yentl that she is her whole world and all
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and then!! they met butters- victor who changed his name to seperate himself from butters and even pretending not to know anyone from his past before his parents grounded him for like 16 years, which is like his entire teenage years even?? god i cant even imagine, BUT the only other thing keeping my sympathies is how he’s an NFT bro?? DUDE. the whole people-who-are-into-nfts-are-incels commentary?? love it lmao i kind of like how its not too evil or unhinged but its also not much of a happy ending - and kind of makes sense he’s a hardcore sellout considering his pimp lifestyle before
i think from here on i started to get confused by whats happening - from randy growing his weed so fast, to cartman recruiting clyde by pandering to his non-science stance, butters escaping to destroy a motel, hell- butters weiner helicoptering pee all over when cartman starts to yell at him  (he still says loo loo loo GJKDFG)  - i feel like butters wrecking so much chaos (hehe) in such a short time is so funny lmaoo
i was so goddang excited when cartman and butters duo happened but it makes me more sad when cartman expressed it was for his family again :((
next is stan bringing kyle to the bar to drink, finding out butters and cartman is sabotaging stan and kyle, being attacked by their alexas, stan again helping kyle to talk with his alexa, them them coming back to see the gang being caught up in the nft thing - and having a stendy moment??? i wonder where darwin even went he just disappeared without a word, which sucks bc i kinda liked the guy even though he’s had like 3 lines tops
anyways skipping ahead- the cartman and kyle fight was beautiful, outstanding, showstopping, what ive been waiting for this whole 2 specials, its funny still how kyle thinks its still a ruse when we find out that its really not, and yentl and the family are the ones who convince cartman to have faith that their lives will end up together in any pathway, not stan or kyle, which is MORE sad holy shit
adult clyde walking through the town like a badass fucking cracks me up, and the way he just busts through the door?? and kid clyde not questioning it??? so fucking funny
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AHH and the moment i’ve been waiting for - stan saying that he regrets this day for the rest of his life and kyle saying you lose everything if you lose this friendship?? i love the style moment - and having to say that cartman has a family and you dont bc nothing would make kyle more pissed than cartman being happier than him LMAO
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anyways after that this whole thing going back to heather from the start?? it feels like they couldve put the whole heather thing at the first special and then tie it up it this one tbh? and lowkey feels like a copout or feels a bit shallow? that all it takes for them to forgive each other is another outing -
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as much as how cute i find it i wish it had gone a bit deeper but at the same time its south park. also theyre like 10, so this would kinda makes sense that itd be all good after like one amazing night together
stans note to randy was super sweet and cute, giving him the new special weed which then cures everyone which again,, kinda like a copout as usual it goes back to tegridy fixing everything and making it feel like trey and matt’s tegridy weed ad
and finally the end - oh. i feel like its so rushed, and so sad that cartman’s ending didnt pan out the way he had planned, stans an astropilot kind of thing, kyle has a family that cartman had, stan and wendy is hinted to get back together - and everyone else is weirdly the same too. it kind of paints stan and kyle as these selfish assholes who didnt care about cartman’s family, but at the same time they didnt remember how it was supposed to be considering that the past had changed. stan said that he doesnt remember why he misses sharon and shelly so much
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im not the biggest fan of cartman obviously, i cheered whenever he had karma served to him in past episodes whenever he was a dick, got beaten up or his plans didnt go through, but in this one he was fighting so hard for his family and reformed life that its hard to feel happy when he ended up homeless in the end while everyone else got a happy ending - which compared to how their “bad ends” were, were not that bad. stan and kyle at least had a home and business and it wasnt like they couldnt get a partner like that?? well except for maybe butters, who ends up as a waiter instead of being an nft bro in a mental asylum...
anyways i kind of liked the previous special more than this bc of the surprise elements and the excitement of wanting to see the adult selves but i felt like i really wanted the latter part where they time travelled to be longer, bc it was the hype of the whole special? but it ended up happening in like the last 13 minutes of the special which is a huge bummer but i cant wait to see the next season, and how its gonna play out. im so tired of this whole covid thing (and the whole tegridy thing) so im looking forward to just. new stuff.
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om-headcanon · 4 years ago
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Hi!! For the ✨sad✨ headcanons, how would the demon brothers cope with/take care of an MC with BPD? It's a really difficult for some people to take care of due to the crises and intense mood swings we go through. Have a lovely day/evening 💕
hi hi hi! im excited to receive my first request!! ^^ to be quite honest im not //super familiar with bpd so i dont know the depths of it, but i made sure to do some more research before hand and i hope i did well!! (if not just lmk and ill fix anything!) i hope youre having a lovely day/evening as well :D
lucifer:
when he went through your file before you arrived, he saw that you had bpd
he went to barbatos to ask if he knew anything about the disorder, and he gave him a brief synopsis of what bpd was
he wants nothing more than to be a good host and tries his best to understand
lucys too prideful to ask questions to you directly, but that doesnt mean he doesnt care!
he finds as many books as he can about human mental disorders and reads up in his free time
every day he asks you if youre alright with little to no explanation why hes asking
if he happens to catch you during one of your mood swings, he doesnt say much but just stays by your side
if he has work to do he will bring it into the room youre in so he can work by your side
(if he doesnt have work he will literally just sit next to you or climb into your bed with you)
mammon:
hes never been too vocal about how he feels about you, but then once he hears about your fear of abandonment, he constantly reiterates hes never going anywhere
(maybe too much)
all eight of you can be eating dinner and he will just recite an entire monologue about how thankful he is to have you around
and everyone else would agree of course
if the others didnt know about your bpd, they may wonder why he does this
but regardless they all join in and share things they love about you
to say hes clingy is an understatement... but he also wants you to know if you ever feel like hes around too much he will leave you alone
he just really wants to help in any way he can and he never wants to hurt you nor have you think for a second he doesnt love and care about you
leviathan:
the moment he finds out, he takes some time to do research himself
immediately after he realises you prefer to not be alone, he never leaves your side
to be honest, he hates being alone too but he is also pretty anxious when it comes to asking people to hang out with him!
but its different with you!
hes always right beside you when your mood swings cause you to feel extremely low
he doesnt know exactly what to say and he may ask lucy what he would do when someone he cares about is feeling sad
lucifer tells him the best thing you can do is be by their side and levi does exactly that
sometimes he will even go as far as offering to leave the house and get you ice cream just to show he cares
satan:
of course he has read up on this before, but still continues to ask you questions as hes never met anyone with bpd and wants to be as understanding as possible
while he has periods of intense anger, he realises that you also experience mood swings, so he tries to be more aware of his anger
he really doesnt want to counter your anger with his own as he realises that might be counterproductive
he read something online once about how pets can help with bpd
when lucifer said no to getting a cat, he decided that he would take you to a cat cafe!
...every single time youre upset!
if youre allergic he will just pout about it but then make you watch cat videos on the couch while he cuddles with you
asmodeus:
as much as he would love to be around you all the time, he still wants to give you your space
but the moment he hears that a common symptom of bpd is fearing abandonment, he fears that him being away from you made you think he doesnt like being with you
similarly to mammon, he counters this by staying around you more
he does research on his own as well to make sure he understands you to the best he can
but mostly, asmo very much acknowledges the importance of communication
unlike most of his brothers who would be too prideful or embarassed to ask, asmo asks you directly how he can support you the best
if you want the others to know but dont feel like telling them personally, asmo will relay the information!
he acknowledges that up until this point, your life may have been extremely difficult because of your bpd and now all he wants to do is make your life easier
beelzebub:
he honestly doesnt understand at first!
when he sees you have your first mood swing he just assumes youre really hungry
he immediately heads to the kitchen and works to make your favorite food
asmo comes in and explains what bpd is, and explains youre not just acting out due to hunger
beel is kinda upset with himself that he didnt know about this and he wishes he knew so he couldve understood you better
he still brings you the food of course
but then he decides to sit with you as maybe what you need the most at that time is for someone to stay by your side
he offers you hugs but isnt offended if you say no
when youre feeling back to yourself again you try to apologize but he tells you that theres nothing to worry about and hes always here for you
belphegor:
firm believer of ~sleep is the best medicine~
when he notices your first mood swing he suggests that you should just take a nap
once you wake up and he notices youre not that different, he decides to ask some questions
after you say that you have bpd, hes very curious has a lot of questions
hes never met anyone with bpd so he inquires how does it affect your day to day life and what exactly is it?
you tell him a few of the common symptoms like the mood swings, the feelings of emptiness, and the fear of abandonment
he apologizes if anything he has done was insensitive or if he hurt you in any way
he often asks if theres anything he can do to make you feel better whenever you seem even a little different
hes not the best with comforting you with words so on nights youre at your lowest, he invites you to watch the stars with him so that you arent alone
(sorry this took so long i took all day writing this :0 do tell me how i did! if you believe anything was worded poorly or incorrect do let me know! ^^)
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catnippackets · 4 years ago
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have you seen/would u recommend pacific rim 2? ive heard some things about newt and idk lol
I feel like Im in the minority that actually did think pru was fun but that being said it ended SO abruptly and with like three separate plotlines completely abandoned that I was really frustrated for days after watching it until I had processed everything and had time to think deeply about it lol it just seemed rly unfinished?? it feels like it was deliberately made as 1/2 of two sequels and there needs to be one more to tie everything up. actually I’m gonna ramble abt this bc I have a lot of thoughts (obvs spoilers under the cut)
the thing about the second one was that I genuinely was enjoying it right up until it ended because I swear to god the moment the end screen went up I yelled "what the fuck, that's it?" out loud into my bedroom bc I was so SHOCKED that THAT'S how it all ended, because it just seemed so incomplete?? Like it seemed like one half of a story, that will only be made whole if there's a third one to tie up all the plotlines that they didn't go through with in the second and if that's the case then I will be completely fine with it but if it doesn't or if they dont have a third one at all I will stay so frustrated lol. one silver lining to this is that the vibe of this movie was so different from the first that it almost feels easy to separate it and just imagine it as an AU if you prefer which is sort of nice; usually if a piece of media I like does something bad I feel all gutted and anxious and terrible that this is the canon I have to accept, but something abt this movie just made it feel like it was sort of a totally separate deal. maybe cuz only 3 of the original characters were in it idk
to start off: I felt like there were a couple of plotlines in it that were just sort of introduced and then never seen through which was very ????? Amara & Vik's weird hate-rivalry thing was one of them; Vik instantly has it out for Amara bc she’s jealous, which is a very interesting concept, and then this prompts Amara to become hostile right back at her, which is also a very interesting concept, and then it never got resolved at all? like they couldve done something really cool with those two but it just never went anywhere. and then there was sort of a weird love triangle thing happening between Jake and Nate and Jules that felt so weird bc it had no significance to the plot at all and it felt like it was only thrown in there for the sake of having ~romantic drama~ idk maybe I wasnt paying too much attention and there was more to it than that but it really just seemed like they wanted to put romance in there and didnt want to bother to put any work into it
BUT the thing about romantic sub plots is that THERE ALREADY WAAAAS OOOOOOOOONE which brings me to the biggest frustration I have w this movie because--and DISCLAIMER, this was also my favourite plot point of the movie bc it was by far the most interesting, the biggest reason for me enjoying the movie at all, and the bit I feel like should have had WAY more attention--Newt and Hermann were like legitimately in love in this movie I swear to god I was watching it and thinking “this is GENUINELY the most blatantly gay thing I’ve ever seen in a feature film and I know that straight ppl are very talented at writing gay romances completely by accident so it’s possible that they just accidentally did it this way but also it is REALLY goddamn obvious oh my gooood?” (and then I did a lot of frantic googling and found out that I was right and Charlie Day & Burn Gorman knew what the fuck they were doing and I felt so validated lol), and yet despite this, the movie had them speak for the last time almost at the halfway point of the film and then spend the entire second half apart and not talking at all and even at the post-credits scene where Jake and Newt talked for a bit Hermann wasn't there?? not even behind Jake to give Newt any searching glances?? Nothing??
dude...Newt being possessed by the precursors is a HUGELY interesting concept that actually makes sense and I wish it had had more attention. I’ve seen a lot of ppl say that pru butchered Newt’s character and I don’t 100% agree bc like...being possessed will change you lmao so while yes I’m obviously sad that he wasn’t himself, I feel like it made sense that he had a slight personality change, because it...wasn’t him anymore. we don’t really see the Newt we all fell in love with in the first movie. we THINK we’re seeing him, but halfway through we find out we’re wrong.
my critiques with that plotline are basically that I wish the reveal had happened a little bit later on, and I wish that it had been a little more obvious I guess?? like, we definitely get hints of it (when Hermann excitedly asks Newt to help him with a dangerous unorthodox project and Newt says “dude why are you doing something so risky when we’ve already got a good plan in motion? just wait for that to be done, it’s fine” and Hermann IS us, he IS the audience when he reacts, because this is a completely insane thing for Newt to say. Newt, who, in the first movie, was so obsessed with finding knowledge that he went behind the marshall’s back to literally risk his life doing something incredibly dangerous just to see what would happen? being given the opportunity to do the same kind of dangerous frivolous act and refusing? this is blatantly out of character, and Hermann is all of us when he’s shocked, “what, you mean you...won’t help me??” which means it wasn’t bad writing on their part, it was purposefully supposed to stand out as something that was wrong and something that we needed to pay attention to. that was a really good scene to hint that something was Not Right with Newt), and I wish there had been a bunch more like it. I think the reveal should have been saved for the end of the second act; I think that should have been the moment that act 2 of a story usually has, that dreadful event that happens that leaves the main characters feeling completely hopeless and unsure what to do.
I also wish that he had managed to break through more than That One Scene, I think it would’ve been more dramatic if he’d had a few moments where he managed to take control for a second to remind us that he’s still in there and still fighting, and I’m sad they didn’t do that. I saw a fan comic that touched on this idea and I think it’s brilliant, even the idea of him suddenly getting a nosebleed and acting distracted to show that that’s the Real Him trying to fight through would have been sooooooooo good.
I also feel like it didn’t make any sense for Nate to be the one to subdue him in the end, I dont even think those two interact at all so like, why was it him?? it would have been so much more dramatic and heartbreaking if Hermann had been the one to confront him so they could’ve had a little conversation on the roof where Newt could once again break through for a second before getting taken over and then Hermann could like idk have a taser hidden behind him that he uses to subdue him and THAT wouldve been a way sadder and more interesting way to do it. I also think Hermann shouldve been the one to speak to him in the post credits scene, or to have him in the background behind Jake just watching him sadly so we can get a couple shots of intense eye contact like UGH I just wish there had been more interaction between the two of them after the reveal happened!! When the movie was over and I realized they never spoke again I felt so upset!!! they're soulmates!! they're literally in love!! this has been CONFIRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and segueing in from the soulmate thing, another thing that made me sad was that nobody came in pairs anymore :( aside from Newt and Hermann, they were the only ones gjdfk but in the first one every character had another character that they were paired up with, both for drifting reasons and just for plot reasons (except Chau and Tendo but I’m pretty sure there's actually significance to that too), and in the second one it just sort of felt like everyone was drifting with each other with no strong connection needed and that made it feel way less special. granted, the movie takes place ten years after the first one so in that time maybe technology advanced to the point where you didn't need a strong neural connection to drift anymore, but for the sake of the story it would have been way better if they'd kept the whole soulmates concept from the first one, it made it way stronger and more special
so yeah in conclusion I did think pru was enjoyable and I probably would watch it again some time but also it definitely pales in comparison to the first one and I’m desperately hoping we get one more so they can tie everything together and FIX THINGS KFGH it’s not too late!!!!! I wish I could write Pacific Rim 3 I genuinely think I would do a good job I love storytelling and I’m very passionate about these characters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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whence-the-woody · 4 years ago
Text
Finale commentary under the cut
So I wanted to kind of liveblog as I was watching but held back so these are my remembered reactions/second watch reactions
Bummed there was no song recap but quickly figured itd play at the end
PUPPY. Best part of the ep, lbr, Dean was so cute with him
Theyre really doing a cheesey life montage huh - still not clear whether monsters are a thing in this new world?
I was watching the mins tick by during this first montage like OKAY we get it, cheesey happy home life, move along. There was only 40 mins left of the whole show like get on with it, it went way too long 
We definately needed to restablished that Sam is neat while Dean is messy. Totally necessary to spend time on that. Also didnt Dean get houseproud when they moved into the bunker?? What happened to that?
OMG get on with it
Then becomes apparent that hunting is still a thing. Which if so what was the point of showing then doing fucking laundry and dishes while “Ordinary life” plays - if its not just an ordinary life?
At this point i thought it might go the route of them being listless without hunting as a job but then murder scene so I guess not
This whole pie sequence is stupid and a waste of time, we all know it
Dean being a cold, heartless bitch about everyone being dead. Aces. Not unexpected but still just great. How dare you be so happy about pie fuck you dude. 
DOES ANYONE REMEMBER EILEEN
Pie is the face is not funny my dudes come the fuck on
I started skipping through during the murder scene. I was bored. Like, I dont care about tension building to the murder of a family we dont fucking know. Ive always skipped these scenes, what is the damn point. Its not scary or interesting. 
GET ON WITH IT
Same old FBI bullshit. Nice to see the journal again I guess. But like, this is STILL what we’re doing? In the very last ep? Same old, different day, just like 15 years ago. Really?
Singer and Kripke. Subtle. 
I skipped through the interrogation too. I dont find the scary brother act cool or entertaining 
15 mins in and nothing has happened
Theyre trying so hard to give Dean jokes and nothing is landing, its so cringe just stop
The way the little clown faces pop up - if that supposed to be scary? Really? Its all just so silly rn
Watching it again I realise just how easy this hunt is. The answer is in the journal. They find the exact family. They find the exact barn. The kids are just stood in a cupboard. This is what takes Dean out, really? Its not even a normal hunt, its a way too fucking easy one. 
I do not remember this chick or what ep she was in, maybe theres some parallell or foreshadowing by bringing her back but if there is I dont get it
Bottom line if youre gonna bring people back WHY THE FUCK THIS RANDOM GIRL
I knew so fast he was gonna go out like that. Hanging from a fucking nail
I kept saying out loud not like this, no way, this is so stupid, its so stupid omg
I paused and tried to talk myself into putting aside how stupid and awkward it was for him to be doing this scene hanging off a pole and just try to invest in the emotion of the speech. Which I achieved at times
but why was is so awkward tho?? Just the way hes stood pressed against it is fucking weird. Also 1000% Sam couldve gotten help and he wouldve been FINE. It took so long for them to talk, an ambulance couldve been there before they were done, there was no need for this
Okay the speech did make me cry once I pep talked myself into being invested. The reference to being scared Sam would reject him, the I love you so much, Sam saying dont leave me, the stay with me and tell me its okay - all those moments got me and I did cry. I appreciated the family business line. I liked Jensen telling Jared he always keeps fighting, that was a nice reference. 
BUT there were also those moments that made me scoff, roll my eyes or laugh. The whole “always you and me” bullshit especially. The second I knew he was going to say I’ll be in your heart I yelled at them to no do it, I hate that cheesey move, then literally was like “oh my god, he did it”. It WAS NOT always going to end like this - so much of the last 15 years was proving him wrong about that. This is all just so wrong, it is not good. 
Jensen and Jared did a good job with what they were given in this scene but my god
The audacity of the Cas erasure- always you and me. FUCK YOU. 
I laughed out loud when his last shot was a One Perfect Tear. I was literally like “Oh wow they did that”
DEAN DESERVED A BETTER DEATH
It also kinda loses all impact when you see him like 2 mins later
MIRACLE IS THE REAL MVP ILY
Theyre really doing another montage. Really. Like we get it, hes sad, we didnt need the toast to understand that
Omg Miracle by his side. The best of bois. 
Looking around his room like beer and guns was all dean was. Sure. Aces. 
I choose to believe Bon Jovi was a ref to before Dean went to hell
If Donna is back why isnt anyone else?!?
Oh Jared you look so old bby. Go home. He looks older there then later in the ridiculous make up
Why is that shot made to look like hes leaving the bunker forever?? Like that makes no sense
Bobby greeting him is nice and all BUT IT SHOULDVE BEEN CAS
Also they are 1000% doing the show don’t tell by having Bobby just sit and explain everything. SO FUCKING LAZY
Cas has been out of the empty, helping rebuild heaven. Okay, fine. Even Dean’s reaction to hearing that was fine. BUT YOU ASK WHERE YOUR FUCKING BEST FRIEND IS AND GO SEE HIM. WHO IS THIS VERSION OF DEAN WTF
I know people are upset Cas is back working in heaven but I dont think its anything like before. It sounds like he helped fixed things then got his own heaven. Also he’s God’s Dad, hes not serving God, hes teaching him. I know human Cas done right is what we wanted but I dont hate this for him. BUT WE SHOULD HAVE FUCKING SEEN IT. 
Why is a memory of being a kid with his Dad what Dean is reminiscing on. They have literally reverted him back to s1. There are so many memories dean should be thinking about in fucking heaven
Hes going for a drive
Hes going for a motherfucking drive
In the car he was just in
WHY THE FUCK IS HE ACTING LIKE HE HASNT SEEN BABY IN YEARS WHAT IS THIS SHIT
Hes going to drive around doing nothing until Sam gets there are you fucking kidding me. Not going to see any of his family from the last 15 years, just driving. Absolute horseshit. 
This is the moment where you realise that this episode has changed NOTHING. This is the same ending as the last ep except theyre in heaven not on earth
ITS THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING
Okay so they skip over how Sam went from going on a hunt to walking with a toddler. OMG how unsubtle that they have literally just labelled the child Dean in big yellow letters. I couldnt help but laugh, how fucking stupid. 
I did get a bit teary when the music started I’ll be honest. But mostly through the whole montage (ANOTHER ONE) I was saying to myself This is so fucking stupid. omg this is dumb, what the fuck is this, so stupid.
They literally did a montage so long they had to play the song twice. Im just done at this point wow. 
The old man make up is so bad I just laughed. The only pictures being of the 4 of them, reinforcing the Winchester only bullshit, great. Not even pics of this new random family Sam’s got. The painfully cliche Dad moments for Sam, again so bad its funny. Omg the hand on the head of this random kid, this is so ridiculous. Old man sam in his bad wig trying so hard to move like hes old and crying in the impala. Wtf is happening, this is SO STUPID 
I thought theyd cast a more attractive son I’ll be honest. So he has the tattoo - are they a hunting family? Because that would go against both s1 Sam they’ve tried to go back to and the s15 Sam they build up to for all those years
I know they were going for an emotional parallel with that “you can go now” but this random man saying it to Sam in that make up, with the music cue lined up right there - its just funny coz its so dumb im sorry
I cant believe they actually played another different version, I’ll never get over that
Theres alot of things I’ll never get over
Is this bridge supposed to mean something? They shouldve picked a setting that meant something
I know theyre trying so hard to make Dean look happy and peaceful to convince us its a good ending but sis no
I laughed out loud when Dean turned around - WHAT IS THAT OUTFIT SAM?
Really, they have nothing to say? No questions, no convo? They just have cheesey smiles and look over the water? This is so wrapped up in a fucking bow trying to force us to feel good my god
The cut almost immediately to them talking to the camera, still in character getup, was so cringe I yelled and turned it off
And they pan out to literally none of the people we want to see . Great, Good. 
LITERALLY WHAT WAS THE POINT 
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